Last night I dreamed that I went to my grandparent's house for Christmas. My grandparents were bed-ridden in the living room just like all 4 grandparents in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The house was still all decorated, the food was ready, and all of my cousins were there. For some reason my granny wanted to close off all the rooms except the living room until the next day like she was hiding a surprise or something.
She made these ornaments for all of us and she had this box of toys that we played with when we were kids that she wanted us to pick from. There was this overwhelming feeling of nostalgia.
I remember hugging them while they lay in the bed. The weirdest part was I hugged my grandaddy and I could smell his tobacco. It was like he was right there.
My dreams have been so insane lately. I've been really emotional lately and I tend to think about my family, especially the ones that have passed, during the holidays. Now that I have Deven I think a lot about the people that he will never have the opportunity to know and will never know him.
After my mom died I had dreams about her nightly for like 6 months. I originally thought that maybe it was her reaching out to me from beyond the grave, but I think it was just the overwhelming sadness I was feeling. Now the dreams I have about her are rarely happy. Just recollections.
I watched Steel Magnolias last night. I love that movie. I would watch it with my mom when I was little and I could never figure out why it made her cry. Of course, I watch it now and can barely keep it together. I don't necessarily feel for Sally Field because of Shelby's death, but rather for the baby for his mother's death. Should be obvious why.
I love that it's a movie about Southern women, but I realized there is a stark difference between the southern belles from Louisiana up into the Carolinas portrayed in movies and Texas women. We are a bit more rugged. We come from Ranches, not plantations.
I'm thinking about getting my hair cut short. Right now it's not long, but it's not short, it's at that incredibly annoying mid-point. I can't decide whether to be patient and rock my trademark long hair or cut it really short and cute. Either way it's getting dyed pomegranate red.