I've had a sore throat for the last month and the last week it's been horrible. Like, "I don't want to eat" horrible. I finally went to the Doctor this morning to get some relief.
This was the same Doctor that looked at Vance like he had an extra pair of hands coming out of his temples when he told him about his intermittent knee pain. And then he told him to lose weight. But I didn't care. I knew what the Doctor was going to tell me, I just wanted some medicine that was going to work.
I have allergies. Duh, I've had allergies my whole life, but instead of sneezing until my nose bleeds like everyone else in my family, I get post-nasal drip and a sore throat. I've never had my allergies treated because they've never been that bad, just an inconvenience. They've gotten considerably worse since we moved to this land of Cedar. And we're in an older apartment building with lots and lots of mold. There isn't anything that can be done about it, it's gross and it makes me feel sick, but we can't afford anything better.
Anyway, he gives me some nose spray, the kind with the bee voiced by Antonio Banderas in the commercials. You know "Nasonex, for all your nasal allergy seeemptoms." The guy threw the box at me and told me how to use it and all I kept thinking about was the spanish bee in the commercials.
I now for the life of me can't remember how to use the stuff. I remember him telling me to look at my toes when I shoot it in my nose, but not how many times to shoot it in my nose. I looked at the script he wrote and it looks like it says ":/|| times a day." I don't know what :/|| is. Klingon? Do Pharmacists have their own language?
Anyway, yesterday was Vance's birthday. Let me first begin by explaining that Vance's friends are assholes. He got happy birthdays from me, his parents, grandparents, and his boss. Thats it. His boss's boss upon finding out that it was his birthday invited him to go to a titty bar with him so he can try to crawl back into his porn-star ex-girlfriend's panties. He was not happy when I told him no, he couldn't go to the titty bar for his birthday even though I was invited too. I have been to strip clubs before and it is just not my thing. Believe it or not, I do not find sipping $7 beer while watching half-naked women dance on poles a fun activity. Vance loves it. He loves it because he knows I am tortured by it. Now that I am a mom and my hormones still have not come back down to a normal level the thought of going to a strip club makes me want to cry and vomit at the same time.
From that point on Vance was a mess. I have seriously never seen him so frazzled in my entire life. Everything was sending him to a fit of whining and cursing and near-tears. For those who do not know the man that I married, let me tell you that he is one of the most sensitive people I know. Not always a good thing.
He was upset that the first face he saw when he walked through the door was my brother's. His thought was that we would take Deven to Bo's house so that we could have alone time and he could have "other things" done on him. My thinking was that Bo showed up here, and to be honest I was so tired from baking a million birthday cookies for my whiney husband that I did not want to worry about driving to Round Rock to drop him off and then having to drive back to Round Rock to pick him up. And everything for him is here. There is no forgetting to pack things. It's just a better idea to have him babysit here.
He was complaining the entire drive to whereverland. He did not know what he wanted to do, and to me birthdays are the most important day in any one individuals life and you should plan every little detail for yourself. If it doesn't go completely right, so what, it's a day devoted entirely to you. We finally settled on Shooters, our favorite pool hall, after several "I don't WANNA go there's" . After a few rounds of pool and trying some really gross beers, we both relaxed and started to have fun without naked women or any of Vance's asshole friends. (BTW, I drank very little beer, and beer is actually good for breast milk production. I was able to pump like 5 oz when I got home, and was still be able to feed Deven. Of course, I think thats more because I let myself get to the point that my boobs were about to pop like water balloons on a concrete sidewalk.)
I shed a couple of tears for him because he was unhappy on what is supposed to be the happiest day of the year for him. Dammit, Vance always remembers his dip shit friends birthdays and he works so hard the rest of the year, so why couldn't this one day go right for him?
I told him that the only reason why I am able to have fun on my birthdays is because I plan ahead. I treat May 20 like Christmas, and I beat it into my friends heads a month before. Hey, we are doing something on this day, clear your schedules, request off work and if you don't show up you will never be forgiven. Thats how it works.
Anyway, by the end of the night things did end happily for him. I refuse to elaborate.
Sooo. TOMORROW WE ARE GOING TO RENFEST! I am so excited. Unfortunately I am not going to be able to dress up this year seeing as my gypsy costume did not really fit me before, and it sure as hell doesn't fit me now. I need to get a new top. We are leaving for Houston whenever Vance gets his lazy butt out of bed. I will be posting pictures, I can assure you of this.