|
|
|
Janette. 20. A-Tex. Momentarily unemployed and single. Tattoos
and a few piercings. Likes
Music and live shows. Favorite bands are Rush and Opeth. Short
and green-eyed. Working towards attending school in the
spring. Hates being broke. Is a boring Libertarian. Loves
porn. Lives for love.
Click here for more! |
| |
|
|
|
Painted-strange.net name bought from 1&1.com. Hosted on
Zimmers.net for free. Image inspired by Opeth. Edited with Photo
Shop 7. Brushes are from various sources. I'm not a camgirl
and thats mostly because I don't have a decent camera. Sorry. |
| |
|
Better sites than this one |
|
|
tongue-tied
bomb girleyes suchadork sacred
kissable Undi3s Tally Hall! ohromance |
|
|
|
|
geddyleesex@hotmail.com
geddyleesex
/Geddyleesex
|
|
|
|
|
|
BLOG;
INFREQUENT AND RANDOM
BULLSHIT |
1.15.2005
3:06 PM
I have not blogged here in quite a while. And the sad thing is I'm only here because Livejournal is
down. Anyway.
I'm home on a break right now. I go back to work at 4. Roxanne was sympathetic enough to let me go home for a while. She could sense that I was on the verge of a breakdown. Last night Josh and I talked about our relationship. For the first fucking time he was open and honest and it completely contradicted what he told me in the past, what he lead me to believe. Apparently he's not ready to get married, which I can deal with. Even that took me a while to warm up to, but I'm okay with waiting. But then he told me once he gets squared away with school and the pharm tech position he might want to move into his own place. Okay...WHAT THE FUCK? First off, we moved here so we could get on our feet and get into our own place. That was the fucking plan. I did not agree to take Josh with me so he could leave me. I can't afford my own place and I can't live here forever either. But he still wants us to be together. Okay, so he wants to completely change our relationship dynamic, our routine, but he wants us to still date. You know what, FUCK YOU. What the fuck do you want? I'm sorry.
Even though all this happened last night I still hurt like someone drove a rusty nail through my aorta. I couldn't fucking work. I'm nauseas. I want to puke.
Before that I was afraid that he could either be cheating on me or at least thinking about cheating on me with this girl he works with. Yes, I read his email. Yes, I read her livejournal. Yes, I want to kill someone. He's not cheating on me, but I'm being cheated out of something and that's the Josh I fell in love with. The Josh that told me he wanted to be with me forever and wanted to take care of me. The Josh that wanted to cuddle with me. The Josh that used to call me "wife". The Josh that laughed with me. Now if I lose him I lose a bed to sleep in and my best friend. I lose a major part of myself. I just wish he knew what he wanted.
posted by Janette
| MySpace, fool!
|
|
|
